Excerpt From Mo Watson's Book, That Gorilla Kissed My Granny and Other Jitters From The Jungle.

The term "shabby chic" will always be a
bone of contention with the poor and the homeless.

*

Last night I laid upon my bed and
watched a flimsy gnat confine itself
to the corner of the ceiling.
It paced
about
and flitted here and there
but only in a tiny section
of the corner. 
There was a whole ceiling for
wandering and exploring. 
A giant expanse of whiteness
for adventure and fun
but the little
fucker just stayed in the corner
and ambled in inches.
Pathetic.

*

Ted would often pretend to
receive phone calls from ex-roommates
and dead relatives. 
The pretending was never the issue
it was the screaming, weeping and manic
gesturing while pretending to talk to his
uncle Manny or his first college roommate Bob
that made everyone
uncomfortable.

*

I will never be able to do the hula hoop.
But I will always be able to sit here and drink this
beer and watch you do it.

*
Today I Thought About My Grandfather...

My grandfather referred to anyone who put on airs as
a "counterfeit son of a bitch". When confronted with an awful smell
he would often say, "Damn, that's enough to gag a maggot off of a gut
wagon." My grandfather had black lung from spending most of his adult life working in a coal mine. He also had the coal mine work to thank for a few of his missing fingers. He drank a shot of whiskey and three beers almost every night. He chewed tobacco. Despite his constant denial, I knew he was a werewolf.


*


Spectral Surprise!

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That Gorilla Kissed My Granny and Other Jitters From The Jungle by Mo Watson was published by The Haunted Xerox Press in the chilly midwestern fall of 2010.