Cleveland has low self-esteem.
It's the poorest city in the U.S.A and because of that fact there has been a grand exodus out of the city by anyone with half a brain and a bulging wallet...those of us with empty craniums and tiny change purses have remained to watch the decay from our windows...This week is a scary time to be in this city for it is the day that the dead arise from the-not-as-polluted-as-it-used-to-be Lake Erie and roam the streets feasting upon the flesh of the poor and disenfranchised. This year the dead will be going to the suburbs and dining at those new Life-Style Centers that have sprung up across the outskirts of this city like elegant turds in a golden litter box. In fact, the eats there are so good the dead will be digging their own graves smack dab in the grassy lawns of the wealthy and sleeping off their meals until this time next year. A spokesperson for the lumbering mass of corpses (made up mainly of sailors and steelworkers from the 1930's to late 1950's) has said, "Let's face it! There is nothing like sinking ones putrified choppers into someone wearing the latest in designer duds...It just tastes better than the usual chemical additives found in the inner-city stumble bum!!" So lucky for us inner city idiots, the dead are going to the suburbs this year to fill their gullets! Three cheers for Suburban development and the new found fickleness in the taste of the living dead!!
From Mo Watson's book, The Face Looking in the Window of the Bar. Published in 2003 by Please Remove Your Hat Lady, I Can't See the Movie Press
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